Shakespeare Summarised

with 2 Comments

Here is a not quite comprehesnsive list of shakespeares plays. Followed by a brief summary or pertinent point. Accuracy not Guaranteed. No money returned.

Romeo & Juliet

Teen Pregnancy boosts the Italian tourist industry. And the balcony construction industry. And the modern mafia

A Midsummer’s Nights Dream

Homeless people on drugs. Has a man named bottom. He turns into an Ass.

Macbeth

Warning: This play is unsuitable for minors as it glamorises knife crime. Contains the first Knock Knock joke. It isn’t very funny.

Hamlet

Prince Harry in ten years time, complete with the unorthodox fashion sense.

Julius Caesar

A towering indictment of antisemitism in a totalitarian regime.

Cymbeline

Bloody Foreigners

Taming of the Shrew

Bloody Women

Comedy of Errors

Brith Birth-control failures causes much stupidyti idiyoc hilarity.

Anthony and Cleopatra

Dance like an Egyptian. Just do it.

The Tempest

Meteorology gone mad.

Henry VI part 1 2 and 3

Elizabethan Star Wars. Episodes 5,6 and 7 are now lost. Or the Wagner’s Ring Cycle, depending on your educational background.

Othello

‘Is it becoz I iz black?’ Mostly.

Two Gentlemen of Verona

See Julius Caesar.

As You Like It

All the worlds a stage. And all the men and women merely players. But none of them know any of the other lines except that speech. Makes for a boring (if short) performance. Also, where does the audience sit?

Loves Labours Lost

Ironically, this one is not lost, while Loves Labours Won is. If only that were as funny as it could be.

King Lear

Proudly providing job opportunities for mad old men since 1605

Coriolanus

The bit next to the Coriorectum. Man I’m funny.

Much Ado about Nothing

I’m rapidly running out of good material. Better pad it out with some bad puns.

All’s well that ends well

Stuff it, I’m out of here.

Well, that ends my first blog post. Leave a comment, or a summary of any other work. I’ll post the best ones at a later date. Maybe.

Don’t bother telling me how unfunny I am. I know.

Roman

2 Responses

  1. Caitlin Kenny
    | Reply

    You are twelve billion unfunny.
    Get a real job. *throws tomatoes*.

  2. Emma
    | Reply

    oh, look what I’ve stumbled across!
    Are you familiar with the works of Lonnie Donegan? A man the like of which the world has not seen for nigh on forty years? I suspect you could probably step into the wide gap he left in the entertainment industry. You’d have to get back into the habit of beginning all jokes with “I say, I say, I say” though. 🙂

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